Is Somatic Experiencing Effective for Male Burnout or Anxiety?
When “I’m fine” really means “I’m not”
The other day, I was standing at the kitchen sink when my husband came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. Kissed the back of my neck. Just a simple moment. But I didn’t respond.
He peeked his head over my shoulder, maybe just checking in. A bid for connection.
Somatic Experiencing helped me develop emotional awareness which helped me notice anxiety.
And I wasn’t interested.
What I don’t usually tell people is that when I’m feeling anxious or overwhelmed, I shut down. I check out. Freeze has followed me my entire life—especially when something feels off in a relationship. And in that moment, even after 13 years together, Jerry could read me like a book. Honestly, the RBF I was serving was strong enough that even a stranger would’ve known something was up.
He gently asked, “Are you okay?”
And I shot back, “I’m fine.”
But I wasn’t.
I had just opened an email titled “Critical Feedback.” Except it wasn’t really feedback—it was a stranger making assumptions about my work, mischaracterizing my intentions, and then creeping through my Instagram to comment on old posts. It felt invasive. And without realizing it, I was flooded.
Later—after some space, movement, and deep slowing down—I could finally feel what was under the surface: rage, disgust, sadness. And most of all, that old fear that showing my real emotions would be dangerous.
I was never taught how to handle stress or anxiety. But I did learn how to shut up when I was activated.
This is the invisible weight that so many men carry. And this is why I do the work I do.
What if your stress isn’t in your head?
You might be the guy who gets things done. The one people turn to when things fall apart. From the outside, it looks like you’ve got it handled. But inside?
Maybe you’re not sleeping. Or you feel tense all the time or worse, completely numb. Maybe you catch yourself saying “I’m fine” when you’re anything but.
This isn’t just stress. It’s burnout. And in men, it often hides in plain sight.
Here’s what I wish more men knew: your body may be holding onto stress in ways your mind can’t talk itself out of. And healing doesn’t always look like lying on a couch for an hour digging through your childhood.
Sometimes, healing starts by listening to what your nervous system has been trying to tell you all along.
That’s where Somatic Experiencing® (SE) comes in.
What is Somatic Experiencing?
Developed by Dr. Peter Levine, Somatic Experiencing is a body-based trauma healing method grounded in the idea that trauma doesn’t just live in our memories—it lives in our nervous systems.
Instead of focusing on retelling your story, SE guides you to track physical sensations like tightness in your chest or heat in your belly. These are ques that signal fight, flight, or freeze responses. With gentle guidance, you begin to release the stuck energy that’s keeping your system in survival mode.
You don’t need to relive every painful memory. You just need to start noticing your body—and learning how to respond instead of react.
How Male Burnout Actually Shows Up
Burnout in men often hides behind productivity and perfectionism. We numb out with work, alcohol, sex, or screens. We keep showing up, performing, pushing through. Until one day, we can’t.
Burnout can look like:
Disconnection in your relationship
Constant irritability
Feelings of insecurity
That tight-chested anxiety you just can’t name
Poor sleep and diet
Reactive and on edge
Shutdown and unmotivated
And the truth is—many of us were never given the tools to feel these things, let alone move through them.
So instead, we shut down.
SE helps reverse that shutdown by reconnecting you with your body. Because real healing doesn’t start in your head—it starts in your nervous system. The sensations in your body are wordless expressions of what’s happening in your internal landscape. It’s essentially just information begging for your attention.
Why Somatic Experiencing Works (Especially for Men)
When I first started practicing Somatic Experiencing, I was surprised by how simple it felt—and how deep it went.
The body holds onto so much stress. We have the ability to release it.
It wasn’t about overanalyzing or fixing myself. It was about being with myself. Learning to stay present with discomfort. Trusting that my body already knew how to come back into balance—if I gave it the right space and support.
Here’s how SE works:
Tracking physical sensations instead of retelling stories
Releasing stuck energy from past survival responses
Building tolerance for difficult feelings without shutting down
Reconnecting with your “felt sense” of aliveness and safety
One client—an executive who had built a life of nonstop hustle—once told me, “I didn’t realize how much I was holding until I stopped trying to fix it with my head.”
That moment? It was the beginning of his transformation.
What Changes You Might Notice
SE isn’t magic. But when you start working with your nervous system, instead of overriding it, real shifts happen:
Less anxiety: You’re not in fight-or-flight all day
Better boundaries: You stop saying “yes” when you mean “no”
Deeper intimacy: You actually feel present in your relationships
More energy and rest: Sleep improves. Digestion calms. Life feels more manageable
A stronger sense of self: You trust yourself—and others feel it
You don’t need to become someone else. You just need to return to yourself. Because bottom-line, your body knows how to recover and heal when we give it space to do so.
What If This Feels “Weird” or “Too Woo”?
Let’s be honest—if you’re new to this, it might sound...out there.
You might be thinking:
“This isn’t for me.”
“I don’t want to cry about my past.”
“I’ve tried therapy. It didn’t help.”
I hear you. It’s a common response (maybe resistance) with men.
But this work isn’t about digging through old wounds or fixing what’s “broken.” It’s about building a relationship with your body—so you can stop living in survival mode.
If you’re skeptical? That’s okay. Curiosity is enough to start.
FAQs: Real Talk About SE
Q: How long does it take to see results?
A: Some guys feel a shift in just a few sessions. For others, it’s slower. SE works at the pace your body is ready for.
Q: Can I combine SE with other healing work?
A: Definitely. SE works beautifully alongside coaching, EMDR, talk therapy, or bodywork.
Q: Do I need to have a “big trauma” for this to work?
A: Nope. Chronic stress, burnout, and emotional shutdown are more than enough reason.
Q: Will I have to talk about stuff I’m not ready to share?
A: No. We work with the body’s language first. Often, healing happens without words.
Ready to Start?
If you’re tired of “managing” your stress—and ready to actually heal—here’s how to begin:
Schedule a free consultation with me
Explore if SE is a good fit for your healing journey
Go at your own pace. No pressure. Just support.
I’m a certified Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP) who’s walked this path. I help men reconnect with themselves, heal from emotional shutdown, and come back to life.
You deserve to feel more safe in your body. Let’s chat.
📞 Book your free consultation
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Burnout doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
Anxiety doesn’t mean you’re broken.
They’re signs that your nervous system is asking for something different.
So—pause.
Breathe.
Check in with your body.
What does it need right now?
If it’s rest—give yourself permission.
If it’s connection—reach for it.
If it’s healing—start here.
You don’t have to wait until you break to begin.
