Somatic Healing for Men: Why a Retreat Might Be the Missing Piece
Circa 2018 — One of my first men’s retreats.
My Body Was Talking. I Just Didn’t Know How to Listen.
In 2018, I knew there was something more waiting for me in my personal development. Everything I had done up until that point—therapy, journaling, meditation—had been helpful, but it all lived in my head. It was cognitive, analytical, safe. And I needed something else. Something that could live in my body.
So I signed up for a men’s retreat in Petaluma, California. The focus of the retreat was on learning how to feel our emotions, not just understand them. We slowed down. We breathed. We practiced being in our bodies without trying to escape. And that’s when everything changed.
It didn’t offer a quick fix or a five-step formula. What it offered was presence. Breath. Sensation. A way back into my own body.
I remember sitting on foldable chairs underneath oak trees that must have been 50 to 100 years old. The crunchy topsoil lay beneath our bare feet, and the dry dusty air engulfed our skin.
When the man directly across from me began to cry, my body couldn’t help but release some of the sadness I’d been hoarding. And I wasn’t the only one being impacted. As I looked around the circle, I noticed the guy next to me and the man next to him also had tears running down their faces. There was something really scary but beautiful about this kind of communion. It was something I had never experienced in my life. And what really surprised me was how willing and accepting every man was to let themselves go. It was at this moment that I knew I had to study somatic work.
That retreat was my first real entry into the world of somatics. And I’ll never forget it.
What I’ve Learned About Somatic Healing (And Why It’s Essential for Men)
Somatic healing isn’t about “fixing” you. It’s about helping you feel again.
It works with the body, not just the mind. Because so much of what we carry doesn’t live in language. It lives in our bellies, our backs, our jaws, our shoulders.
Being an athlete and a performer growing up, I was always connected to my body. But in school my intellect and critical thinking skills were celebrated by my teachers. In my early twenties, I would try to ignore the panic I felt in my heartbeat or the tension I felt in my shoulder blades. That always led me to some kind of anxiety attack where I couldn't breathe.
Somatic healing taught me how to come into my body and feel. The work taught me to name my emotions and accept them. And it gave me clarity and ease.
As men, we’re not taught how to feel. We’re taught how to perform. To protect. To achieve.
But your nervous system doesn’t want to perform. It wants to feel and heal.
Why Talk Therapy Didn’t Fully Work For Me
I’m not here to knock therapy. I’ve had amazing therapists. I’ve cried in sessions. I’ve had breakthrough insights.
Learning to feel my anger gave me power.
But there came a point when I realized: I was talking about my pain instead of feeling it.
I understood my trauma. I just couldn’t feel my way through it. I could describe my grief, but I hadn’t let it move through my chest. I could name my burnout, but I still woke up braced, clenched, shut down. That’s a common experience for many of us. We understand our trauma but we haven’t let it move through us. We can describe our grief, but haven’t cried it out. We know we’re burnt out, but our shoulders are still tight every morning.
That’s when I knew I needed something different.
Somatic healing doesn’t start with thoughts. It starts with sensation. With noticing. With breath.
I know a guy who went through an entire day and didn't know he was having a heart attack. He wasn't connected to his body and he thought that he could push through. The following morning, he woke up feeling worse and he brought himself to the emergency room. He went into emergency surgery. Luckily, he survived but it was a big teaching moment for him. This isn't uncommon for men. So many men live with pain in their body, but they choose to ignore it. Because somewhere in their mind they believe that feeling is weakness. But what if not feeling actually led you to your death?
When you begin to feel something in your body it becomes real. You don’t have to manage your healing. You can live inside it.
Why Retreats Took My Healing Deeper
I’ve done somatic work in a lot of settings—one-on-one coaching, therapy offices, online groups. But something unique happens at a retreat.
A retreat removes the distractions. The emails. The expectations. The noise.
It drops us into a space where we can breathe, walk slowly, and actually feel what’s alive beneath the surface.
I’ve witnessed this not only in myself, but in hundreds of men. When we step into a well-held container, our nervous systems begin to soften. Our hearts begin to open.
Retreats don’t “fix” us. They remind us that we were never broken. They give us permission to feel, to unravel, to be.
What We Actually Do at SHIFT Men’s Retreat
Here’s a look at what the experience includes:
Morning grounding: sunrise rituals, breathwork, yoga
Somatic practices: learning to track sensation, follow emotion, and listen inward
Men’s circles: honest shares without judgment or fixing
Ritual: experiences that invite reflection, clarity, and integration
You don’t need to be good at any of it. You just need to be willing to show up.
Men arrive carrying grief, shame, anger, confusion. They leave with clarity, softness, and a sense of being fully alive.
Not because we taught them something new. But because they remembered something ancient:
Your body already knows how to heal. You just have to listen.
Wondering If This Is For You?
If you’re anything like I was, you might be asking:
Why can’t I just shake this feeling of being stuck?
Why do I feel so far away from myself?
I’ve done therapy. Is this really any different?
Let me say this clearly:
If your body feels tight, guarded, numb, or overreactive, that’s not failure. That’s protection. And protection isn’t bad—it just means your system’s been doing its job. Maybe for a long time.
But what if you could thaw? What if you could soften into the safety that’s already inside you?
After my first retreat experience, the world looked different. Almost like a day after doing LSD in the woods. I had a greater understanding of who I was. I felt alive and renewed. I reconnected with parts of myself that I let go of, forgotten. And that felt like home.
Attending a men’s retreat is probably the thing that’s missing in your life.
That’s the invitation. Not to fix. Not to become someone new. But to remember who you’ve always been.
FAQ: Somatic Healing for Men
What is somatic healing and how does it help men?
Somatic healing is a body-first approach to emotional wellness. It’s especially powerful for men who struggle to talk about feelings but deeply want to feel more connected, calm, and clear.
Will I have to share in front of a group?
Only if you choose to. No one is forced to speak. But in my experience, most men want to. Because it feels safe—and they’re met with compassion, not critique.
Do I need experience with breathwork or healing work?
Not at all. You don’t need to know the language of somatics. You don’t need to be spiritual. You just need to be open.
How do I know if I’m ready?
Honestly? You probably won’t ever feel fully ready. Most men don’t. But something brought you here. Listen to that.
You’re Not Broken. You’re Just Numb. And You Don’t Have to Stay That Way.
If you’ve read this far, something is already stirring in you.
You’re not broken. You’re not too late. And you don’t need to keep doing this alone.
Somatic healing gave me back parts of myself I thought were gone.
A retreat helped me feel alive again—in my chest, my heart, my breath.
And I want that for you, too.
Let’s Take the Next Step—Together.
SHIFT Men’s Retreat is a somatic healing experience designed to help men reset, reconnect, and remember.
If you’re tired of carrying so much alone…
If you’re longing to feel more like you again…
If your nervous system is asking for something different…
Come join us.
Book a free discovery call or book your spot for our next retreat. You don’t have to do this alone.
Still not sure? Check out these 2 articles:
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20 Free Practices to Support Your Mental Health-- Starting Today (SHIFT Men’s Retreat discount inside each download)
