When High Performers Experience Panic Attacks: A Somatic Coaching Journey
(This is a case of a past client. His name has been changed for privacy.)
Carl sat in his office with walls made of partly frosted glass. Both his computer and laptop screens were open—spreadsheets displayed on each. Behind him, he had framed photos of athletes he admired. On the shelf below were pictures of his growing family. Through the frosted glass, he could see a busy office—everyone doing exactly what they were assigned to do. The chatter droned on like white noise. He would later tell me that those sounds comforted him—they reminded him of growing up in a full house, always someone around, never alone.
As Carl punched numbers into cells, his heart rate started to speed up. For a moment, he thought it was just the coffee he had chugged. But then heat began to rise into his face. Sweat formed in his palms and under his arms. Being the man he was, he ignored the symptoms and kept working. It was crunch time—quarterly deadlines.
Then, out of nowhere, his eyesight narrowed. His vision darkened and blurred. His heart raced faster. The heat got hotter. His shirt started to soak with sweat. Confusion hit. Then fear. A thought flashed through his awareness:
“Am I having a heart attack?”
Carl is in his late 30s and, on paper, he’s highly successful. After college, he quickly rose through the ranks at his agency. By 28, he was making more money than he could spend. Highly academic and highly intelligent, he prided himself on learning complex things fast and executing them near perfectly. Up until this point, he believed he was healthy.
Panic set in. Too ashamed to let anyone know what was happening, he left his office, got into his car, and drove himself to the ER. After his EKG and blood tests came back negative for cardiovascular disease, he was confused—and embarrassed.
The doctor said bluntly, without much concern:
“You were probably having a panic attack. It’s common, especially for guys like you who are chronically stressed.”
Carl refused medication. Left disappointed. Left with no answers. For years, he’d be defensive—almost combative—when his wife pointed out how anxious and stressed he seemed. She could feel his dysregulation. But Carl was caught in the story his ego kept feeding him: that he was strong, and strong men don’t get anxious.
Like most of us, the first thing he did was pull out his phone and search:
Symptoms of panic attacks.
That rabbit hole of research led him to somatic experiencing therapy.
And eventually, to me.
“What’s it like to admit that you’re afraid?”
During our consultation call, I could feel both his skepticism and his eagerness.
When I asked how he felt, he gave me all the details about what he was experiencing—but he couldn’t name an emotion.
“So is that fear?” I asked.
“No. I’m not afraid. I just don’t want that thing to happen again,” he said.
“But what’s the emotion underneath that? Is it paranoia, anxiety—are you scared it could happen again?”
“...uhm… hmm. Yeah. I guess I am afraid of it happening again.”
“What’s it like to admit that you’re afraid?”
His eyes got glossy. His face contracted. I read it as sadness, maybe validation. There was a pause. Then, reflexively, he swallowed—and the emotion passed.
He hired me on the spot.
And I left him with one simple piece of homework:
Take one intentional, deep breath every day.
We worked together for over 18 months.
By the end, he was a different man. Softer. More open.
He could name feelings and somatic sensations in the moment.
And he knew how to truly relax.
This is what’s possible.
Many men believe they know themselves well before they hire me.
But the truth is, most of them are living disconnected from their body.
When we give attention to what’s happening internally, we uncover an entirely new landscape for growth.
With a little psycho-education and a lot of practice, men start to trust the information their body sends to their brain. I create containers of safety and experimentation—spaces where men can try on emotions, develop their felt sense, and learn how to come home to themselves.
This work changes who you are. And as your inner world shifts, it ripples out into every area of your life.
Carl still updates me on what’s going on in his world.
He hasn’t had a panic attack in years.
And one of the biggest compliments I’ve ever received came from him while on vacation with his family:
“I’m on vacation and I’m really on vacation. No phone. No laptop. No work. Thanks, man.”
If Carl’s story resonates, this is your invitation.
You don’t have to wait for a panic attack to wake you up.
Your body may already be trying to get your attention.
I’m currently opening up a few 1:1 somatic coaching roster spots. Find some time if you think you might be a right fit. It’s not a sales pitch. If it’s not a fit, it’s not a fit. Hard stop.
And if you're looking for something immersive—where you can disconnect from your stress and reconnect with your body—come join me at SHIFT Men’s Retreat. It’s one of the most powerful containers I’ve ever created.
Hope to hear from you.
I’d be honored to walk with you.
