Meet Mike Sagun
Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Men’s Coach
Hey, I’m Mike. I’m glad you’re here.
I’m a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, and men’s work facilitator. I work with men who want to feel more connected to themselves and to the people they love, especially when they’ve spent a long time feeling numb or shut down.
I know that place. I know what it’s like to love someone and still struggle to let them know what’s happening inside me. So much of what I bring to this work comes from learning how to feel, how to let myself be supported, and how to stay in relationship when part of me wants to disappear.
The men who taught me about love
I grew up with men who believed in me. Teachers and mentors who took me under their wing, who saw something in me and helped me see it, too. I feel fortunate to have known that kind of love.
One of those men is Kevin, my high school choir director and choreographer. During rehearsals, he would call us together with a “Circle up!” He believed that to bring an honest and vulnerable character to the stage, we needed to know ourselves in a deep and meaningful way. So we sat together and talked about things like rejection, the hurt we’d felt, and what brought us joy. Sometimes we cried. Many times we sat in a kind of safe discomfort, and Kevin and his wife, Melinda, made room for all of it.
He was the first man who let me cry in his arms. I could be hurting, and he could be with me there without telling me I was wrong for feeling what I felt. When I came out to him, the first thing he said was, “I’m proud of you.”
Other men I deeply loved and trusted rejected me after I came out. That loss was painful in a way that took me years to begin to understand. These were people I had felt cared for by. Losing them meant grieving relationships that had helped shape who I was.
There is still grief there. There is also gratitude for what I’ve come to understand about myself through it. I’ve learned that both can be true, that I can grow through something and still feel the ache of it.
Kevin is still in my life. And when I gather men together at my retreats, I say, “Circle up!” In many ways, I’m carrying forward the care I first experienced in his circles, nearly twenty-five years later in my life.
I’ve been a feeler all of my life
I come from a family of performers and showmen. I grew up active, playing basketball, skateboarding, riding my bike, and dancing. Later, when I found theater, I learned to pay attention to every gesture, to what my hands or my face might tell an audience about the person I was playing.
I knew how to move and express through my body. Some of my own feelings were much harder to find room for. Growing up, I was recognized for being kind and for the things I did well. Anger, assertiveness, and boundaries were less familiar. There was a lot I had to learn about being honest with myself, especially when what I felt might disappoint someone else.
In college, I experienced panic attacks, often at night. Paying attention to my breathing and the movement of my chest became one way I tried to find some relief. Years later, learning to notice sensations in my body helped me recognize when I was beginning to shut down and gave me more choice about what to do next.
Looking back, I think I was finding my way toward somatic work long before I had a name for it. I was following my body’s natural rhythm of contraction and expansion.
My marriage is my greatest teacher
My husband, Jerry, sees the parts of me that are still learning. When we’re in conflict, I can go quiet and want to pull away, even when there’s so much happening underneath. Sometimes I want to blame him. It can be hard to look at what I’m bringing into the moment, especially when an old hurt feels so present.
We’ve had seasons when we struggled to hear each other. When we were both hurting and trying to understand why we felt so far apart. I’ve felt scared in those seasons. I love this man, and it can be painful to recognize the ways I contribute to the distance between us.
During one of those periods, I began to wonder whether some of the anger and resentment I was carrying might be depression I hadn’t recognized. When I finally shared that with Jerry, he listened and held me. I remember the relief of being able to name something I’d been struggling to understand.
There are still moments when I want to shut down. I’m learning to notice them, feel my feet on the ground, and ask for a little space when I need it. Jerry and I are learning how to care for ourselves while staying connected to each other.
This is why I say my marriage is my greatest teacher. I keep discovering myself here, in the love and the discomfort, in being met with tenderness and being asked to take responsibility. I’m proud of the relationship we’re building. And I’m still learning.
How I learned to support men
I began facilitating men’s groups and retreats in 2016. I cared deeply about the work and knew I needed more guidance. That search led me to EVRYMAN, where I met Owen Marcus. Watching him help men connect with their bodies and feelings made me want to understand how to offer that kind of support.
Owen became my mentor and taught me subtle ways to notice subtle ways the body communicates with words. With encouragement from my mentors, I went on to train through Somatic Experiencing International. That training gave language to things I had felt and experienced, and much more skill in how to accompany another person. Owen, a colleague, Duncan, and I later became co-founders of MELD, Men’s Emotional Leadership Development.
Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP)
Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC)
BA in Education, San Jose State University
Founder of SHIFT Men’s Retreat
Founder of SHIFT Foundation
Co-founder of MELD
Former EVRYMAN Senior Facilitator
There is room for you here
When we sit together, you can take your time. You may have a lot to say, or you may find it hard to know where to begin. We can start there. I’m interested in what it’s like to be you, including the things you’re still trying to understand.
I bring tenderness to this work, and I can be direct. We might slow down to notice what’s happening in your body or stay with something that feels difficult to say. You have a say in the pace. I want you to have room to discover what feels right for you and to tell me when something doesn’t.
The care I received from men matters to me because I know how much it changed my life. I bring that care with me when I meet you.
“Mike has a real gift for creating a space where men can let down their guard, show up more fully, and experience connection without the usual posturing, comparison, or pressure to be anything other than themselves.”
A little more about me
I’m Filipino-American, born and raised in the heart of Silicon Valley. These days, I live in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, with Jerry and Bert, our rescue pit bull.
I love getting my hands in the soil. I love dancing, lifting weights, and tending to the many plants around our home. Slow living has become important to me. I’m making more room for rest and for the relationships that nourish me. There’s a lot of life I want to be here for.
Stay a little longer
If you’d like to get to know me more, I share personal audio reflections through Living Letters. I talk about my marriage, the body, and what I’m learning as I move through my own life. You’re welcome to listen.
If you’re interested in working with me individually, my coaching practice is currently full. You can join the waitlist below.